My neverland...

It was Me...

2011-06-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

Years have passed by,
All the fears, I bid goodbye.
Days of the past I try and forget,
Words from the one I always regret.

Trying ever harder to make thy understand,
Just lost my self-confidence in the quick sand.
Always wanted to get what I deserved,
Spreading the ashes of the sentences I've served.

Driven into the an abyss never known,
A superunknown till I trip like a fawn.
On my knees the tears shall fall,
Denied a vague direction in this endless stroll.

This ain't a love ballad I sing thee,
Nor a poet never meant to be.
Stretched to the limit of what I am,
Now I know I'm living for who I am.

As I Die.

2011-05-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

How much can I write?
About my depression, alcohol habits
and the sadness I feel
Before I start repeating myself
Or just get bored
Honestly, I don’t know
Perhaps I'll find out one day

Every day I follow patternized life
Go out and come back, prepare dinner,
Study, do some internet
And then go to bed
Not to sleep
Just to pattern heartbeat
Whether it’s working still
Wondering how

Then there are these loud voices
filling in every portion of ears
You are a looser
You lost everything
You were never anything successful in life
A daughter, a friend, a lover, a student,
A professional, an alcoholic, a poet
You don’t even know what the meaning of life is
Look at you. You, a complete failure

There are other loud voices telling you
You’ll never last the night without us.
You'll cave at 2 in the morning
And be worse off
Than what you are at this time

There is soft voice saying, what’s the harm?
You don’t miss work
You’re not mean

You tried to put your best
but somehow it didn't worked
You paid your duties
Here I'm and it’s you only
and it’s just a night
When its dark and you're alone
And there is no one else
who'll be with you.

And then there's my own voice
And the others are so dominate now
That I can’t even figure out
What it’s saying anymore or if it even cares.

By the way, I now love the depression
And I love how slowly it kills
And how silent death it is
And I am in love with my depression
And how it is slowly killing me
And what a silent death it is…

It’s not that bad actually
That’s what I have always
Thought of how I would like to die
I just never imagined it would come this way.
Cheers..!

O' Pain!

2011-05-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

Ah! The woes of heart burn
Eh! Its growl and O! the mourn
Dying daily in thy concern
Ha! Amazed I see! Amazed I see!
How much harsh, you are to me
Alas! For me nothing you feel!
I stay lonely in woes and weal
Here is no zeal, no driving wheal
Only this pain, you gave to me
Hark! I bear in thy memory

The Friend Within

2011-04-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

This particular writing is very personal to me and is dedicated to a friend of mine whom I have so much Faith in, so much Respect and Admiration (Someone who likes to hide in his shell and comes out from it when he's ready ha-ha!) n to all my friends out there whose Faith in someone remains strong even if the person they believe in, no longer believes in themselves. May your Faith in that someone helps them realize even when they no longer have Faith in themselves, even when they no longer believe in themselves... You'll always be there for them..

Dear You,
You have always been the kind whose kept to himself, when things are not working out or not the way you wanted it to be, you'd go hiding in your shell, leaving your friends and everyone around you wondering how you are? you would never say a word to anyone and others around you are left questioning themselves if they had done or said something that might have upset you and when you are done with what you needed to do or had taken the time you needed to sort things out, you'd come out of your shell bouncing back to your old self without apologizing or offering explanations. You're always like that and that's Okay. It's just the way your personality is, a lot of people doesn't get to really understand you, but I do. I just knew. I just knew from the patterns, from how you would appear and disappear, I just knew from observing you, I just knew some how.. Lately, you are back hiding in your shell, friends are asking about you, wondering how you are? wondering about the total silence, wondering about your little hide and seek patterns. Today I told a few friends of yours who mentioned about your silent treatment and you disappearing again from the face of the earth and I said " Give it time, it's just the way it is, when he's ready, he will come out of his shell, he will bounce back to his old self. Just be there for him, he needs you guys right now although he may not word it out, it's just the way he is, always kept to himself. Be there for him even if he tries his best to keep away give him space to sort things out on his own but make sure you guys make him aware that you have faith in him as I do.. "

I believe in YOU, even when at times your world falls apart, you lose faith in things you do, you lose motivations in things around you, you lose touch with the rest of the world and people in it. I still believe in YOU. I know how hard you tried I know how much you tried all your might to get to where you at, sometimes in our life, we lose focus on things that matters, may it be because of new aquaintances, new peers, new people we hang out with, sometimes we do things to ourselves we wouldn't normally do, sometimes in our lives we get lost. And it's Okay.... finding the wisdom and learning a lesson in our mistakes is what matters the most.. But I believe in YOU .. I always do! I know you will come out of it, things will starting to look better.. What you may be going through right now is something you would not want to discuss with anyone, perhaps out of shame? perhaps out of ego? perhaps out of confussions? or being out of focus? And that is OKAY!!! No matter what it is you are going through with phases in your life. I'll be right here ... KEEPIN' THE FAITH IN YOU even at this moment, you may not see that or feel that, I can only wish you would look around and see I am not the only one who cares deeply.. A lot of us do.. Your friends, your families. We all have Faith in YOU.

I can't comprehend why, but I just knew when you are not being okay, when you are not okay. I just knew.. Times like this is when I needed the most to let you know I have faith in YOU, that I believe in YOU. I guess that's what friends for eh? I have so much Faith in YOU that when you feel you are running out of Hope.. I want you to have some of mine. I believe in YOU so much that when you are starting to not believe in yourself, you can have some of mine. I have so much strenght in me that when you are starting to feel weak, you can have some of mine. I have so much Respect for you that when you are finding yourself lost... My respect for you will not be weakenned and I will respect you more in times of your weakness, I have so much admiration towards you, for the kind of person you are, for the person I know you are not the person others thinks of you, But that person I have seen with beautiful heart, beautiful soul. Because of that My Faith in YOU will remain true from the bottom of my heart.

Please know, WE are here for you, WE keep believing in YOU, Me, your friends, your buddies. I won't look at you any different, you don't have to be ashamed, you don't have to shy away because even in times of darkness in the corner of your world.. even when you no longer believe in yourself... I will always be here Believing in YOU, having Faith in YOU. YOU ONCE SAID TO ME " YOU GOT YOURSELF A FRIEND HERE" Now it's my turn to say the same ... YOU HAVE A FRIEND HERE WHO ALWAYS HAVE FAITH IN YOU, FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE, FOR WHAT I KNOW YOU ARE, FOR WHAT THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUL YOU HAD SHOWN ME AND BECAUSE OF THAT... I WILL ALWAYS UNDERSTAND YOU ... You always hide in your shell but please know when ever you are ready to come out from it... "I'm just right here" Always Keeping the Faith, always believing in YOU.

PS:

There is nothing wrong with being weak sometimes, there is nothing shameful in making mistakes as long as YOU find wisdom and learn from it to grow into a Better Man ... There is nothing wrong with being Fallible, that's what Humans are cut out to be .... Fallible.... Learning from it, finding wisdom in it.... is what makes us Humane ..... "I'll be right here when you come out of that Shell:)) and I will not judge you but will respect YOU more.

2011-02-12T23:49:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone!

I have made a NEW BLOG..
please do have a look!
Best wishes!

Love.
Priyanka
Priyanka's Neverland
www.priyankazneverland.blogspot.com

Mirror Image

2010-03-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am in a mirror store

Infinites reflecting objects surrounds me

But no, not even a single one facing me,

I want to see myself......walked some steps..

Still no one facing me....

I am Impatient....still nothing facing me

Then I began to adapt to forget everything in me...

and my Impatience about ...

What happens now.........!!!
The mirrors Surrounding me becomes

A cone with its tip just above my head

And thus I came inside of me

I saw myself in such an inside-ness

Now who is this I don't know..

Is it me or my emptiness...

Framed ... ~~

2010-01-11T10:33:00.001-08:00

For ages i just followed your bid;
Doing things for you, though ill at ease.
Heard you say things about whatever I did.
Always seeking approval,always trying to please.

But now no more putting up with the same;
Won't cut down my picture to fit your frame!
-------------------

Oh! So it is me you are afraid to lose?!
But Folks,when did you ever let me be me?
What you want of me is not what I choose.
Don't tell me what's right, just let me be!

If you make the rules,I won't play the game!
Won't cut down my picture to fit your frame!
--------------------

I care a damn what you think, is a mistake.
I am what I am;This is the way I want to live.
I just cannot keep doing things for your sake,
coz you cannot forget & you cannot forgive!!

You don't like it this way?!What a shame!
Won't cut down my picture to fit your frame!
-------------------

You don't like what I say? Go take a walk!
Will take your din no more,Will drown out the noise.
You said what you had to; it's my turn to talk
Mute for ages,now I have found my voice
Don't care what you call me;I will make a Name,
But won't cut down my picture to fit your frame! ! !

Poetess of the Dark..

2010-01-11T10:10:00.001-08:00

Poetess of the dark..
Searching for words..
Loss of all senses..
Ripping her apart..
Looks up to see a familiar soul..
Sounds of silence all around..
Closes her Eyes in hope of a haven...
May be an escape into an ignorant bliss
Screams, Visuals, Hazy Creepiness
Everything but peace..
Wants to sleep...
Wide Awake, like a ghost..
Eyes fixed heavenwards..
Praying for a Miracle..
But, Prayer.. what Prayer..
There is no God..
Tears run down her cheeks..
No strength to Fight,
No will to rise..
Nobody to hear her plight..
And, so lies the poetess of dark.
Sleeps in dark, wakes up to dark..

The sudden "end"...

2010-01-11T09:57:00.001-08:00

we met a few times
and made a few memories
but these memories are nothing
but a pack of rubbish worries.

if only he had been better
and also good to me
life might have been different today
for him and for me

he wanted some fun
i wanted a friend
the difference between the two
brought the sudden end... :')

... To The Other Side...

2010-01-11T09:51:00.001-08:00

If I were to die today
And there just was no other way
And no place where I could hide
Would you come with me to the other side?

Death just seems so close to me
Right in front, but I just can't see
My time is up and no more can I bide
Would you come with me to the other side?

Darkness is brightest during light
When everything else is out of sight
I just seem to wash away with the tide
Would you come with me to the other side?

If I left one day and never came back
Know its not because my love for you does lack
If you hear that I have died
Would you come with me to the other side?

Never knowing when it all might end
My wishes to you right now I send
Know that you name was the last word I cried
Would you come with me to the other side?

So if I leave now never to return
Will you hurt? Will you burn?
And though apart from love, nothing else can I provide
Yet I ask, Would you come with me to the other side?

Alone is what we are...

2010-01-11T08:18:00.001-08:00

Understand from the eternal drops,
Not to cry and shed your tears.
For who has gone and left you was never yours,
For you were alone, since you were born,
And will always be, in the time to come
Before with time apart you are torn.

Those you illusion to be together,
Were never there with you.
For the clouds come and the rain,
And move on ahead until they are gone.

Many more come along and the rain,
Soaking you in the short lived joy,
Reconstructing you to relief,
Making you fall again and destroy.

This is life, a comprehension
From where you are to comprehend.
To live in peace and joy forever
Its alone from your birth and alone when you end.

I'll be fine..perhaps...

2009-12-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

Everything I see
Becomes a part of me
Everything I feel
Everything so real
So hard I try
These tears not to cry
Yet the fact remains so true
That I'm not meant to be without you
So no matter how many times I say
"I'll be fine", this pain still does find a way
To enter my mind, body and soul
Reminders of how once I was a whole
Pieces of me scattered in the sun
It must be ended, for once it was begun ... <3 <3 <3

My Drenched Dreams ...

2009-12-04T09:26:00.000-08:00

Beleaguered by the demons
Of insurgent desires,
Bemoaning the fate
In a discordant choir

Dripping from the showers
Of false fabrications
Soaked in the misery
Of ambiguous convictions

Drenched Dreams!
My drenched Dreams!
Weary by the wanderings
On long & windy roads
Drained by carrying
The unbearable loads

Scorched by the sun
Heading the journey’s end
Parched lips yearn,
Eyes thirst the end:
End of the journey
And end of pain
Ending the life
The dreams remain…

Thirsty Dreams!
Killer Dreams!
My drenched Dreams!

Silences...

2009-11-29T01:12:00.001-08:00

Sometimes,
silences are the best buddies,
when the heart breaks without noises
and heartbeats have no voices,
while left alone in dark alleys,
and the shadows turn their face,
and walk away.

Sometimes,
the silences are the ‘other’door ,
of the mind..;
to sneakout and run away,
from the numbing gloominess of a lost day..
When stumble over ,
the darkness clogged steps,
unable to discern the paths,
while searching,
frantically for density,
inside the emptiness of air,
some times,
silences are the best ropes,
to hang on,
clinging ,
to the roofs of an opaque life..

In the world of dingy twilights,
where you,me and we become one,
without substance of an identity,
where faces look inanimate,
with shadowy outlines,
and shades of black and white hues,
where contours appear as,
mixture of ridges and furrows ,
sometimes,
Silences are the best pals..
When one is lost,
in tracks with undefined goals,
and waves with unknown depths,
and when time stagnate and clot,
in bluish red veins of horizons,
when threads of hopes,
make tangled knots ,
with dreams,love and pain,
and life fall in the trap of expectations,
trying to escape vainly,
wounded and bleeding
sometimes,
Silences are the best friends..

A different waltz ...

2009-11-29T01:09:00.001-08:00

I waltz,
With my shadow,
When they are long,
To hold my hand;
Twilight,
Into the night.

I dance to the whispers
Of wind passing by.
I hum notes of joy,
For having you close by.

Twilight ends,
And comes a time,
When I part with you again,
Silently, into the night.

Not yet Forgiven...

2009-11-29T01:07:00.000-08:00

Not letting go the pain,
Not letting go the memories..
Letting go my pride..
I still in my words hide..
The hurt YOU gave me,
Forever to cherish!

not forcing you to listen..
not even wanting you..
i am still surviving
n will remain without dieing...

You may forgive me dear
Your forgiveness on the falling out
That all the more endears,
When we fall out with those we love
And kiss again with tears.................

Toke Bhalobashi. . .

2009-10-25T10:12:00.001-07:00

JANI NA AMI KE ,KI AMAR PORICHOY
JANI NA KI CHAI, AMI KI AMAR HRIDOYER BASANA
JODI BOLI HOYTO TOR MONTA
TABU BOLTE PARBO NA "TOKE BHALOBASI"..........

MONE HOY PARBO NA TOR KOTHA BOLTE
TABU TOR SOPNATA AJO HRIDOY JURE
NISOBDE BHALOBESE JETE PARBO
TABU BOLTE PARBO NA "TOKE BHALOBASI"..........

SATA KOSTO TOR SATHE THAKE PARI
KATATE PARI SATA JANTRONI RAAT
MONE BOLE BHALO TOKEIII BASI
TABU BOLTE PARBO NA "TOKE BHALOBASI"..........

SHUDHU BHUJE NIS EI CHELETA EIROKOM
SAMAY PELE ASIS ER KACHE
KATATE PARIS SOMAY ER PACHE
PARLE BHUJE NIS "TOKE BHALOBASI"..........

Aamar pagli. . . :')

2009-10-25T10:10:00.001-07:00

pagli aj tor kotha bar bar mone porche...
sokal bela ghum theke uthei tor nam dekhlam
khoborer kagojer patay..
tor namer ekta company'r add diye-chilo..

adbhut na.....
tui amai bhulte chas...
kintu ami toke bhulte parbo na...
sei adhikar ki nei amar?

naki etao tor dustumi...
chere diyeo amake sasti diye jabi..
tobe toke bhalo bashle sasti pabo keno?
tui je oi cheletakeo bhalo bashli?
sasti pabina tar...?

pagli tor kotha mone kore kadbo na..
na chokh theke jol felina kokhnoi....
pourush bojay rakhte hobe na..
pagli...ekta din dibi,
jedin purshke sorie sudhu-
manusher moto kadbo...

jani ar tui kichui dibi na..
aj tor notun golpo suru korar din..
aj tor biye...
tai subho bibaho janalam toke!!

Jeebon theke Jeeboney. . .

2009-10-25T10:06:00.001-07:00

pakhi hoye ure chole somoy.
or ekta ekta paloke,
ekta ekta jibon.

nodi hoye boye jay jibon.
or ekta ekta srotey,
ekta ekta khushi.

taara hoye futey othe khushi.
or bindu bindu aaloy,
bindu bindu dukkho.

oshroo hoye jhore pore dukkho.
or fonta fonta jole,
onek khani jibon.. .

My QUOTES Collection Part I

2009-10-04T05:34:00.000-07:00

What is this life if full of care; we have no time to stand and stare.

Sit quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.

Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.

Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic.

We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.

We must overcome the notion that we must be regular... it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.

You're the only one who can make the difference. Whatever your dream is, go for it. ..but first...go to sleep for a while~

I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.

When walking through the "valley of shadows," remember, a shadow is cast by a Light.

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.

I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.

Before everything else; getting ready is the secret of success.

Don't find fault. Find a remedy.

Good, better, best; never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best.

Quotes Close to my Heart. . .

2009-10-04T05:27:00.001-07:00

remember me..just once in a while...

2009-07-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

today my heart is filled with so many things...so many people involved..so many stories...so many feelings..
recently enough..i am coming across people who have transformed themselves..some for the better...most for the worse...and i nomore see the person i knew. it makes me feel exasperated.. lonely and scared. it worsens when i wake up at 2 am in the night...all sweaty..just out of a nightmare where i see poeple..so many fo them all black and slimy...i can see light but not its source and i find myself enveloping into the mist..bit by bit..fold by fold.
its so strange..how relations change..from good..to better..and then to worse!

hmm...i feel d best way to teel u wat i feel..i'll be me..:) ...n write u this....

remember me when i am gone away
gone far away in the silent land
when you can no more hold my hand
nor i half turn to go..yet turning stay..
remember me when no more day by day
you tell me of the future that you care
only remember me..u understand..
it will be too late to counsel then or pray
yet if you should forget me for a while
and afterwards remember..do not grieve
better by far you should forget and smile
than remember me and cry...

P.S I FORGIVE YOU...

2009-01-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for what I did to you
All I said, it wasn't true
I crushed you and you never deserved
What it was that you heard

You were the first one I fell for
I loved you then, but there is more
YOU understood me
Through that time
But when I broke your heart you lied

You told me it was all pretend
From the beginning to the end
But I knew it wasn't true
Because, I knew the REAL you

Like me, you were misunderstood
I planned to tell you, but before I could
You disapeared, you moved away
And still, to this very day
I dream on meeting you again
One more time so I can say
Just three words, only three
Words that will set me free

Nothing very complicted
Now here they are
Plainly stated
I want you to know, no matter what we've been through
I want you to know.............
I forgive you!!

loved one...

2008-10-18T22:56:00.001-07:00

funny thy emotions be
funny sound the words u said
funny be thy better half
swear on her to what i say:
if you get another one
will she be your loved one
will not memories sublime
will u remember the chime?
I can tell you many ways
to become her loved grace.
but will then your loving be
better than will ever be...

what you did to me..

2008-10-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

I never believed that you can be my number one.
I always knew that you will be gone.
Because of you I don't believe in love.
Look all this what you have done.

Somebody tells me why nobody cares.?!
Why this life cause so more tears.
I trusted you, but look what you did.
Now somebody tells me what I need.

I loved you so lot, but that was in wane.
Because all what you gave me, was so more pain.
I opened my heart to you and then I saw something new.
That painful thing was your soul.
Your perfect heart was totally could.

Somebody tell me why nobody cares.
Why this life cause so more tears.
I trusted you, but look what you did.
Now somebody tells me what I need.
Why being with you means sou many tears!?!

Ritual of Death...

2008-10-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

Amidst the never-ending greens
Stands a dull dry tree
Life-less and leaf-less
Full of sorrow is he

The blue above him
Overlooked and took pity
And busied himself
To write this ditty

No words did he find
To express his state
Wondered he a lot
Whats written in his fate

Just what he can write
For this symbol of death
Shedding away life
With his every breath

So he gave it away
For me to try a write
'Ritual of Death'
I labeled this sight...

IN YOUR MEMORIES...

2008-09-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

I shall die soon, i know

this thing is in my blood.

It will not let me go

it saps my cell for food...

It soaks my night in sweat

and breaks my days in pain

No hand or drug can treat

these limbs for love or gain..

Love, was the first strange cause

that bred grief in its seed

And gain knew its own laws

to fix its place and breed..

He whom i love, thank God

won't speak hope or cure

It would not do me good

he sees that; i am sure..

He knows what i have read

and will not bring me lies

He sees that i am dead

i read it in his eyes...

How am i to go on

how will i bear this taste...

My throat cased in white spawn

these hands that shake and waste..

Stay by my steel ward bed

and hold me where i lay

Hope you'll love me when i'm dead..

And not let me die....

IN YOUR MEMORIES....

m doomed!

2008-05-25T01:49:00.001-07:00

things have seemed quite unstable ever since results have come ...
feels quirky at times how one result can change the destiny and the profile of a person...
5yrs back being a 70%scorer was a boast able experience...but today thanks to the unprecedented competition that has followed has made such a huge impact that now a 80% means to have a terrible score
i can only imagine what it must have been for those scoring nething below that score..
have heart people
i mean even ashok ganguly wouldn t have scored a 90..damn!!!!
he suxx n so does his strategies!!!!!!

sunday..2.32pm

2008-05-25T01:49:00.000-07:00

well
its been a boring Sunday morning..its 2.26pm right now...
well..dunno what i wanna write down today but it seems like a new realisation...about my life my people..
which brings em to my boards results...
i know it wasn't that good...
could have done so much well..
but that's the point..its been done already and it cannot be turned down n changed..
people have been calling up n down as if am dead or something..
i mean its so funny...
hoe much can a boards result matter...
n d reactions r even more erratic in nature..!
everyone grumbled dat i got 74 in eng no1 appreciated d fact that i got a 96 in pol.sc....
which was like really tough...
coz..i am supposed to bring in my 90s just coz m dis so called street smart English speaking bitch or something...
its really funny...
i know i deserve more...n m trying my best to get it re-evaluated but that's like a different [point altogether...
people have presented such perceptions about me that makes me shiver utmost down my spine..
come on guys..
gimme a chance!!!!!
peace out!

do u remember...

2008-05-22T04:00:00.002-07:00

Don’t let your past bring you down,
don’t let it bring a frown,
live in the present,
live life to the fullest,
don’t let anyone tell you wrong ,
live it on your own terms,
at your own pace,
because as soon as you know it ,
it will pass before your eyes.
Do you remember the times we laughed,
the times we cried,
the times tried to say goodbye,
or even the times we had said hello.
Do you remember those smiles
that came on your face,
a giggle which made a world a difference,
a tear that made me a whole lot depressed,
do you remember the times
we fought over the pointless arguments that we got to,
over the jealousy that we held,
over the frustration that needed to be let out...
Don’t forget those times we had,
even through the bad and good,
we made it through. . .

my feelings for u...

2008-05-22T04:00:00.001-07:00

I still have feelings for you.
Yes it's true.
All wounds heal in time.
But not mine.
I'm falling for you,
and while my heart says go;
My brain says no.
What should I do?
If I may still love you.
I can't keep living this lie!
And I can't just say goodbye!
Life is rough.
And love is tough.
So we better get use to it now,
but how?
God must be really clever.
Because I want to be with you forever.
But I've done so much wrong.
And this isn't like a love song;
Where there is always a happy ending.
But for you I am always bending.
Jealousy and rage seem to be locked away in a cage.
So maybe you have changed.
But are your feelings rearranged?
Even so; I can't let go.
So I will be holding on for eternity.
If that's what it takes to bring you back to me.

me..my love

2008-05-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

My feelings mean nothing at all,
They will be lost as time goes by.
It's hard to say what I feel
But I know
I can’t hide from these feelings all the time.
It’s hard to say I miss you
But you burnt a hole right through my heart
N I never thought you'd make me break me,
You’re breaking apart this love in my heart,
I wish I could rewind everything back to the start

my best poem!!!!!--stone by stone..

2008-03-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

Stone by Stone
I have a wall you cannot see
Because it's deep inside of me
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps emotions there to hide
You can't reach in
I can't reach out
You wonder what it's all about
The wall I built that you can't see
Results from insecurity
Each time my tender heart was hurt
The scars within grew worse and worse
So stone by stoneI built a wall
That's now so thick it will not fall
Please understand that its not you
Continue trying to break through
I want show much to show myself
And love from you will really help
So bit by bitChip at my wall
Til stone by stone, it starts to fall
Iknow the process will be slow
It's never easy to let go
Of hurts and failures long in grounded
Upon ones heart from years of pain
I'm so afraid
To let you in
I know I might get hurt again
I try so hard to break the wall
But I seem to get nowhere at all
For stone upon each stone ive attacked
And left between them not a crack
The only way
To make it fall is in imperfections in the wall
I did the best I could to build
A perfect wall but there are still
A few small flaws which are the key
To breaking through the wall to me
Please use each flaw
To cause a crack
To knock a stone off of the stack
For just as stone by stone was laid
With every hurt and every pain
So stone by stone the wall will break
As love replaces every ache
Please be the one who cares enough
To find the flaws no matter what. . .

2008-03-13T04:30:00.001-07:00

The beginning and the end,
Of my life and its height,
My love and fright,
Of loss and failure,
Compares none whatsoever,
To the miracle never occured,
The tale never told,
The truth never spoken,
Of what lied deep in my fate!
The rise and fall,
Of my emotions and agony,
MY spirit and melody,
Of my hate and luck,
Proved no love,
Never spoke the words,
Never flew the sparks,
Long dead for my small world!

in oblivion...

2008-03-13T04:30:00.000-07:00

Left undone is the solemn pledge,
To see myself with you, wither with time.
And live one day,
the dreams that we wove,
With your hands in mine.
Left undone, is my home
Even before it lived its first breath,
To stand under this blue sky,
With a solitary mortal to survive
Left undone is me, to stand alone
And live this life in parallel,
Yet being far from you,
for a lifetime,
When you let go of my hand,
into oblivion....

alone....

2008-03-11T00:45:00.000-07:00

Alone underneath the midnight sky
I lift my face to the stars
And imagine each one a kiss
Sent from you to taste my lips
Alone underneath the midnight sky
I lift my hands toward the moon
And imagine its light as heat
Sent from you to keep me warm
Alone underneath the midnight sky
I close my eyes to feel the wind
and imagine its gentle touch
Sent from you to caress my body
Alone underneath the midnight sky
I feel your arms wrapped around me
And imagine a whisper in the silence
Sent from you to tell me I’m not alone
though..its a lie....

a poem for u....

2008-03-09T00:51:00.000-08:00

I write a poem ... for you today... to get a place...
in your heart ...
for ever...
A poem ...
that could tell you ...
my love for you...
I write my poem ...
with emotion and affection...for you ...
to understand ...
my deep thoughts ...
for you ...
A poem ...
to love ...
and a poem ...
to understand ...
its soul...
A poem ...
to enjoy ...
and a poem ...
to understand ...
its happiness ...

A poem ...
to think ...
and a poem ...
to understand ...
its way of life ...
A poem ...
to learn ...
and a poem ...
to understand ...
its content...
A poem ...
to sing ...
and a poem ...
to understand ...
its melody ...
A poem ...
to cry ...
and a poem ...
to understand ...
its sorrow...

There are poems ...
I have written ...
but this is specially for you ...The poem ...
could tell you ...
how important you are ...
for me ...There are words ...
comes out freely ...
from my mind ...
to write poem ...
but there are ...
no words ...
to find my love ...
for you...
Those words ...
can not missed ...
as I miss ...
your love today...
Let me ...
have all those words ...
put in to my heart ...
and say ...
I love ...
to write ...
a love poem ...

for you ....

to love u more.....

2008-02-22T02:18:00.000-08:00

To Love You More...
Take me back ...
in the arms i love...Need me ...
like you did before...Touch me ...
once again...
And remember ...
when...There was ...
no one ...
that you wanted ...

more...

life...

2008-02-14T00:34:00.000-08:00

If there is a future there is time for mending-
Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.
Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow-
If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.
If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-
When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.
Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling-
If there is time for praying there is time for healing.
So if through your window there is a new day breaking-
Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,
If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning-
There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.

so much to do....

2007-10-26T02:50:00.001-07:00

So much to do...
So much to learn and
So much to see…
So much to touch and
So much to feel…
So much to dream
and So much to try…
So many beauties to regard and
So many times to sigh…
So much to listen and
So much to hear…
So many lives to touch and
So many lives to make dear…
So much to give and
So much to share…
So much to achieve and
So many challenges to dare…
So much love to confer and
So much time to provide…
So many failures to accept and
So many setbacks to be taken in stride…
So many souls to blossom and
So many hearts to bloom…
So much to do…
Before I rest in my tomb…

TAKE ME TO A DREAM....

2007-10-26T02:50:00.000-07:00

Take me to a dream
That I never dreamed of,
To a place so beautiful
That we can stay for eternity,
A dream that seems to be
More real than real life
A dream of no problems or worries.
Take me to a dream
A place for just the two of us,
Where we can express our innermost thoughts,
feelings, and emotions,
To a beautiful land where nobody
Is there but just the two of us.
Take me to a dream
A dream where I can have fun,
Where I am not being fused or abused at
Controlled or being yelled at,
To a beautiful place that I can lay at
In peace where I can think at,
Where I will have no worries
and do nothing but dream...

2007-10-09T02:49:00.000-07:00

With every cut i make another feet
i dig down deep,
bury me there
with all the tears i weep.
fill it with my sorrows
& all the blood i've shed..
Go on hurt me,kill me..
let death be my eternal bed !!

When u wait for someone
for few mins its consideration,
for few hours its trust,
for few years its friendship
& when you wait even
when you know he wont be back... its love !!

Im going crazy...
im going insane..
i'd really kill myself
if only to stop this pain !
i'll cut my wrist deep
& then let you go,
im hurting inside
more than you'll ever know !!!!!!

DARE TO BE...

2007-10-03T04:30:00.000-07:00

When a new day begins,
dare to smile gratefully.
When there is darkness,
dare to be the first to shine a light.
When there is injustice,
dare to be the first to condemn it.
When something seems difficult,
dare to do it anyway.
When life seems to beat you down,
dare to fight back.
When there seems to be no hope,
dare to find some.
When you're feeling tired,
dare to keep going.
When times are tough,
dare to be tougher.
When love hurts you,
dare to love again.
When someone is hurting,
dare to help them heal.
When another is lost,
dare to help them find the way.
When a friend falls,
dare to be the first to extend a hand.
When you cross paths with another,
dare to make them smile.
When you feel great,
dare to help someone else feel great too.
When the day has ended,
dare to feel as you've done your best.
Dare to be the best you can
-At all times, Dare to be!

TELL ME...

2007-10-01T03:28:00.009-07:00

Tell me your dreams.
Tell me your reality.
Share with me your imagination,
and the extent of your morality.
Tell me…how high are you willing
to go to find success.
Tell me…how deep
will you go to find THE peace.
Tell me…will you make others cry
to keep your own self happy?
Or will you give up on your happiness
to see others smile?
Tell me…do you believe in God
and his divinity?
Or will you sell your soul
to the devil without even a moment’s hesitancy?
Tell me…will you stand by your convictions
like the mountains high?
Or you are so fickle that no matter
which direction the wind goes, you will fly?
Tell me...Are you game for love just for the
sheer joy of loving?
Or for you love has lost its chastity
and it's glorious meaning.
Tell me...All this, for I will be
glad if with me you share.
I can be your friend,
so without any fear you can lay your heart bare.
I can be your God.
Or I can be your Satan.
I can make your life a lush meadow.
Or like a desert- empty and barren.
I can introduce you to your destiny
or I can acquaint you with your doom.
I can show you what is happiness all about.
Or i can fill your life with misery and gloom.
I can help you open your wings and fly high.
Or I can tie you down till you die.
I am noone else but
who you see in the mirror.
My image can make you feel blessed.
Or that manifestation can make you shiver.
I am but a reflectionthat you see.
Whichever path you want to tread on (good or bad)
I will gladly follow thee.
I am you.And you are I.
Though I might be your conscience.
But, I am only a voice of thy.

I STILL LOVE YOU...

2007-10-01T03:28:00.008-07:00

It’s been such a long time
since we parted ways.
We didn't talk
and didn't meet.
Wanting to get on
with our lives in our own ways
And then we saw
each other across a crowded room.
And I realized to my surprise
that I still felt the same.
I looked at you
you looked at me
and the world faded into oblivity.
You asked for my hand,
and I gave you mine.
When our fingers touched
the time stopped for an eternity.
We sat like that for I don't know how long.
All I knew was my heart was content
and my soul was humming a happy song.
I wanted nothing more
than to hold you in my arms.
But didn't want to ask
for I wasn't willing to take another chance.
Then you asked if I still loved you,
and I thought my heart,
a beat, will miss.
I couldn't decide whether to hold on to my sanity,
or fall again into this heart breaking bliss?
And I said yes,'cos that was the truth.
I could no more to myself lie.
I never did stop loving you...
even after I said goodbye.
Gingerly I held your hand
wondering if it would be like before.
The same love, the same serenity?
The same blessedness as before?
But it was like time had stood still
Nor time and neither the distance
Could change the way I feel.
Was it serendipity or the universe's will?
That we were holding each other again?
But will someone tell me~
If what we have is meant to end
Than why does...such moments to us...
The destiny lends? ? ?

2007-10-01T03:28:00.007-07:00

Only I will know how I was hurt
by the Relationship of HEARTS...
All those broken dreams,
coverd by sadness of my heart..
with happines dead,
and EVEN the world has stopped ,
for it is coverd only by your thoughts..
for i dont know y i still love,
even after love has broken my heart..
Even though u left me
, y i cry, i dont know.
Every tear fallin
Has its own story to tell ..
i dont know y i still love you
but i do still ..
Love Me Or Leave Me
i dont care,
but noboby can love u
like i can..
Life without u wasnt a life..
life without u wont be a life
There was only a small difference
between u and me
i wanted u
and u wanted
the whole world........
not me...

EACH TIME..I DIE....

2007-10-01T03:28:00.006-07:00

Every time I die
You’re the reason why
I closed the door and cried blood
Yet you couldn’t see the flood
You know that I loved you
Yet I can’t see you coming through
I’m waiting for the light of the morning
When I’ll come out of this mourning
As of now you’re not here
But your voice I can still hear
Without telling you I love you
So that my days aren’t blue
I don’t know that whether it’s a happy or sad thought
Because with my heart I just fought
I’m not sure whether you exist or not
Or may be you are just hiding at some spot
At times I feel I’m going crazy
You don’t come to me or you’re just too lazy
You know what I’m fed up!!!
Either talk to me or just shut up!!!

IN THE DARK

2007-10-01T03:28:00.005-07:00

The darkness, so peaceful
in these days of pain,
the darkness, so kind,
in my lonesome days.
It gives me the space i craved for
during the day,
it lets me be myself no matter
what, others have to say.
The night sky, calm and
dotted with stars,the moon,
the leader
of this fleet of stars.
This entire fleet,eyes down on me,
seem like a guardian
watching over me.
Whilst walking in the darkness,
i gently feel,the sound of silence
in the purest breeze.
I love the way the wind,
dances along,caressing my soul
as i walk along.
So, alone i walk,in the dark,
when i can’t see,too far beyond.
Alone i walk
in the dark,
when the world retires
to that place called dreams.
I walk alone in the dark,
so noone sees my heart’s suffering.
I fight this pain,
as i walk along,
just the stars in the dark
for company. ..

dawn..to dusk...

2007-10-01T03:28:00.003-07:00

Together we started walking
on this life’s course.
You pushed me on,my guide,
my driving force.
You made me find my smile
when my heart was melancholy.
You made me see the purity
in a world that was unholy.
When I was too scared to dream
you gave me the confidence.
You made me love my true self
and helped me shed my pretence.
When I wanted to cry
you were there with your shoulder to lend.
You have been the anchor in my life.
My philosopher, my friend.
And walking together hand in hand
I don’t know when I crossed the line.
I fell in love with my best friend.
Naturally, without any design.
Now that I am aware of how I feel
I don’t know what to do.
Do I tell you of my serendipity?
Or do I go on quietly loving you?
I will leave it up to you to discern~
Why I am aglow when you enter the room.
Why, when you near,
everything I am, bursts into a bloom.
I will let you see for yourself
how you have changed me.
How though I existed till now,
your love has made me live completely.
How your presence makes me absolute,
how your nearness makes me whole.
And no matter how long
you take to see my love,
you will always have
The undying devotion of this soul.

CRYING OUT TO THE MOON...

2007-10-01T03:28:00.002-07:00

Crying out to Moon
The still breeze, is at times
just enough to pluck off dry leaves
Ah.. dried they were
of the unseen tears
which just plucked out on and on
There was a deafening hum
The most bleak ever sung
Yet inaudible and unheard...
All is game within the mind
Counting over that mute babel
He sat there -Crying out to Moon.
Shining spirals, moving darkness
Touched by Untouched
Something choked,
andIt was the end, end to end
for beginning a new beginning....

UNTITLED AS YET...

2007-10-01T03:28:00.001-07:00

Sitting in a crowded room.
With people blithely moving about,
soft music in the background,
I watch children
gleefully scream and shout.
Gentle breeze rustling the curtains,
sunbeam creeping inside
through the windowpane.
All the settings in place
for a wonderful and relaxed meeting.
Then why
do I feel this disquietude,
why do all the emotions
come back from
which I am fleeing.
One look at you
and my time stands still,
yet every moment
seems to be fleeting.
I look at thee,
and the whole surroundings
are filled with splendour.
Music in the background,
tinkling of china,
friendly chatter,
kids laughter...
all fade into a distant murmur,
till I hear nothing
but the beating of my heart.
The world around
fades into oblivion,
and there is just you...
so near yet oceans apart.
We look at each other
and our eyes lock.
I look away feeling dizzy.
Is my confusion destined,
or is it merely self-brought?
I steal a look at you
and I search deep within.
Struggling to find answers
to the questions
I don't even know.
Desperately trying to hide the feelings
that I am not yet ready to show.
Surreptitiously I gaze at you,
hoping noone will discern.
I sway with the breeze
and breathe in your scent.
Will that whiff appease the ache,
or will it give way to a new torment?
You look at me and smile,
and I start acting nonchalant.
But is it really me?
Or am I putting on pretence?
If it's love that I sense,
than why do I feel this reluctance?
Is it that I am scared
that the love without
will not be the same
as it felt within?
If I give in to it-
will it become my catharsis?
Or will it become my cardinal sin?

A LIFELESS STORY....

2007-10-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

a lifeless story
i was born to be despised of my birth
i was grown to be denied of my health
i was sent to school
only to be hindered in good senses
i was turned a teenager
to abandon my adolescence
next,............. i
was married to be his slave
and i grew old
to fall down like a wave
now that i am dead i realize .......
to have lived
only to breed
so my lord !!
if you still exist............
this is my first request ,
to be brave
let two of such lifeless women
cry at my grave...........

let me..just once....

2007-09-30T05:29:00.001-07:00

Let me, just once
Let me hold your hand, just once
I promise you’ll want to hold it forever

Let me hold you in my arms, just once
I promise you’ll find peace lying in them

Let me stroke your face, just once
I promise you’ll never want me to stop

Let me kiss you gently, just once
I promise you’ll feel my love

Let me see you the way God intended to, just once
I promise you’ll feel immense security even though most vulnerable

Let me, just once
I promise that’s all it will take to be forever

I LOST YOU...

2007-09-27T02:44:00.000-07:00

How could I be so naive and silly?
To love You so much, so deeply
without thinking about the reality
I trusted You completely
& dedicated my whole self to You entirely
A little care shown by you
took me out of my blues
I thought You loved me too
the same way as I loved You!
But now today I know
no flower survives the heavy snow
How empty,unspoken words
could make you feel this love?
I am lost and lonely again
with an excruciating pain
looks like all my prayers have gone in vain
And now I've come to realize that
each day was a step towards losing you
I lost You before I even found You...

look into thyself my frenz...

2007-06-16T03:07:00.000-07:00

I have always thought...
why are we bound by these customs,laws and traditions.those which are justified can be followed but the others which have been an outcome of the various societal evils like political uni sons..debacles in the governmental policies...internal conflicts in the system...and so on...
but are we dumb or blind folded???
can't we see all this clear in front of our eyes..???
women are beaten up every evening in almost every house...
some behind closed doors and some in the open...
but no one points a finger at them.but if two people who are in love and want to get married,they are crushed to death...the reason..???
they belonged to different castes..
welcome to the "new " generation...
we live in this world where people are so invested in their own lives that they see hear and talk just anything and everything related to themselves...
but what about the others???
what about the small children who sit outside,on the road who sit half naked and roam about here and their..nobody to nurture them..no one to care..
what have we become my friends...
don't we have a heart anymore???
if the sky..the moon the earth is the same..our faiths ..our beliefs are the same..then how is it that we have changed????
and if we have..what has changed in us and why???
please look into yourselves and find out for yourself..
please...

piece of life...

2007-05-19T02:18:00.000-07:00

Piece Of life"

i hear the sigh of that crying child,
littered in the filth along the roadside,
dark and pale and flumsy skin
in the pierching summer heat,
no flesh, no cloth to hide his soul..
there i see the hunger in his eyes,
there i feel the pain in his sighs,
and there she comes, a mother,
lifting that piece, her piece of life,
kissing and embracing in her arms tight,
a moment of relief and a moment to smile,
both for me and that little innocent child.
I hear the sigh of that jaded man,a father,
a brother and a husband for some souls,
working hard the whole day long for a meagre wage
to keep him on,no sign of pleasure,
no sign of pain,
on his forehead some hopes in vain,
his doom so dice,
and deep in the heart a fire lies,
he wants to cry for his life derride,
but tears all drenched in those filthy sweat,
he returns from the field at the dusk so weird,
with some gauky faces waiting at home,
and a hope for just a piece of bread..
there i see the guilt in his eyes,
there i see the pain in his heart,
and there lies a sweet little baby,
gazing his father and broadening his arms,
and in that innocent smile the man is lost,
lost his worries and all his pain,
his heaven as he embraces his piece of life,
and there i find some tears rolling down his eyes...!!

there's no pain...

2007-05-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

There's no more pain in me for you,
The pain that filled my sleepless nights
Where the darkness brought tears
Cold tears my eyes have shed
Each and every lonely one,
Brought memories filled with love.
The love i once felt for you
Still, as long as it let's you go...
But now I live to hide away
Where I belong from you...
There are no more empty days
Feeling the blame
For your endless space filled with regrets,
Of words left unspoken,hugs left apart,
kisses left in tears,touches left in pain...
Now take your touch and walk away
With the pain in YOU for me. . .

lost love...

2007-05-19T02:12:00.000-07:00

Years have sped by,
time has flown,
To forget you-
that is what I had sworn;
To wipe off your memories from my heart,
To live on,
knowing that we are poles apart.
But often on silent,
lonely nights,
When the moon is shining bright;
Your thoughts come stealthily to my mind,
And prod other memories left far behind.
Of times we had,
both good and bad,
Of tears we shared and fun we had !
But what went wrong,
I have no clue;
But as long as it lasted,
I know it was true.
You have touched my life in many ways,
I try explaining,
but just cannot say.
But you have moved on and so must I;
Must accept the truth, though with a sigh.
Time heals all wounds,
but not this one;
The scar remains;
the harm is done.
Memories are to be treasured,
or so they say,
That's why you remain in my heart to this very day....

i'll alwez love you...

2007-05-19T02:11:00.000-07:00

Day by day
Night by night
Kiss by kiss
Touch by touch
Step by step
I fall in love
A love so incomprehensible
So vividSo unique
So wild, that
not even the reign of God could contro
lA passion so deep
A need so necessary
A want so strong
The universe would not handle
I love you today
I'll love you tomorrow
I'll love you forever . . . .

2007-05-19T02:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in this lifetime,
we meet a special soul,
who fills our very essence,
to almost overflow,
we drink the cup of friendship,
it tastes like ruby wine,
and you know within your heart,
this meeting was Divine.
This soul that lives within your heart,
no distance can prevail,
an inner spark,
within the heart,
becomes a Holy Grail,
the starting of a journey,
in which you both shall be,
a reflection of each other,
for all eternity. . .

when you say nothin at all...

2007-03-02T04:25:00.000-08:00

when u say nothing at all
Its amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you dont say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
Theres a truth in your eyes saying youll never leave me
The touch of your hand says youll catch me when ever I fall
You say it best..when you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
Whats been said between your heart and mine
Chorus x 2(you say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Lets me know that you need me..
Chorus(you say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Lets me know that you need me..
(you say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)